problems!!!!!!

tonight is a very cold and quiet night for me in perth. it really has been like this for me these past few days. i find it hard to sleep this few days. i dont understand why am i so concerned about having a companion. its always in my mind. although i am afraid that next time i couldnt find the person that i want to live with for the rest of my life and i always feel that good girls are getting lesser and lesser. but i dont want to rush things. this past few months i have been like a bull which keep running and running and finally hit a few walls and finally cant find the energy to knock anymore. i am so tired of playing computer games to past my time. and i am just not that kind of person who just study during my free time. if anyone has any suggestion to pass my time please feel free to drop me a message. sometimes i feel that in a night like this, wouldnt it be good if theres someone here to hug with or to at least have a chat. this current girl that i am going for seems to be very very far away from me( not literary) ahahhaha..... i have some issues with being lonely and companionship. i just think if we dont go and find fate, then when will fate come... how do u know which girl is ur fate? if anyone has an answer please tell me..... thats all from me today. just dunno wat to do. whether to go or not????

think to much??

harlo harlo... dear readers its time for me to blogg again.... i am a dam lame person.... but for people who think my blogg is stupid can just fuk off....... today my blogg is for me to express wat i think about one person.... i try to communicate with her..... we sort of got to an understanding but in a way i feel i am disturbing her.... i trying to talk to her more and understand her more... but it seems to be hard.... but i dont want to giv up... its just that i am afraid of the future...... so there u go i do think too much.... i really dunno whether she is the one or not???..... but its hard to say because i am so far away now...... only time can prove everything... i think i will lay low for awhile and see wat comes along my way...... hopefully some good stuff....

times that i just want to be in for the rest of my life

this is for the first time in many many years that i release this blog to anyone who knows me..... this was for so long a place for me to release my feelings and sometimes i read this blog like a diary and see how stupid and immature i was and how stupid i was....... i regretted some of the times and cherished many of it... it made me who i am now..... and yet there is many more steps for me to go.........

i wrote todays blog to wish my good fren(brother) wei sim happy bday...... his bday is today..... he had his bday party yesterday and it made me remember the feeling of having so many frens together with no boundries again.... the feeling when i had in form 5 till just one year ago.... this one year....... alot of things happen to me..... many good and many bad..... but i just want to say sorry to my frens..... i left all of u all aside.... and yesterday just made me feel that i threw myself away from my frens......... i missed the fun i had with all my frens.... the no boundaries fun we all have..... where time was never enough for us to play..... this coupling thing just was over my head...... i dunnno wat i have becomed...... although i am still open to it....i will never leave my frens alone again........ guys and gals this is my word to u....... wei sim i will see u soon buddy...... u made me wake up from my sleep again man....... and i thank u =)..... plis feel free to drop comments.....

hard times where we must storm through

sometimes in life we do alot of things we think its right...... it has always been like that... we do the things we think its right.... but today i found out that saying sorry is easy but not for everyone..... but i am looking for a gf that can be my life partner... why are we all having early relationship because we are looking for the partner that can cross our life with us and not needing to cross our life all alone.... if to those that think frens will can cross ur life with u i have a message for u dun be so naive.... no frens are forever... one day ur life partner will be the one beside u till u get old till ur kids have their own family and all the way till u reach the casket..... running away from problems is also no use to a relationship..... i really still think that we can still go through this thick forest... its not hard... we just need to help each other need to sacrifice for each other and then we also need to comprimise with each other......its now more then a year i have known u..... the time i spent with u have been marvelous and with ur family... i just dun wan it to go to waste... i still love u... sometimes when u say sorry its stronger by 50 times then anyone saying it.... do u know that... ur i love u is stronger then anyone that says that..... i just hope u know that.... money is not a problem for me... i just wan u to be willing like ur frens to bring any amount of money for their bf..... thats all i want....

is she the right one

its been a year since i have written another blog but this time even i dont know wether this is a happy post or a sad post.....this girl i just knew for about 4 months or maybe more.... but i seem to have certain feelings for this girl... to me she is very interestin... one thing someore i have never have this feeling before... i dun have the feeling that to say i want to rush into it... but sometimes she keep saying that she dun like relationships and stuff like dat.... and i think she likes my other best fren... someone who find out about this blog... can u please help me.... i think she is a terrifically nice person.... i want to in so many occasion try to get her... but i always feel its not the right time... but this few days have i have been doing alot of thinking about wat she use to say or wat is the possibilities... i cant do anything to get it away... even when i am playing games or watching tv or playing pool i still have that feeling of wanting to know wat she is doing... i also feel that i am intefering her life... sometimes i dunno... she is one person which i can talk to i feel comfortable talking to and somehow i have feelings for her.... but sometimes i feel she likes me and sometimes i dont.... someone help me tell me how do i know... isnt there another way to see.... i know she like to be with her frens... i dont object that... i also like to be with my frens... but wat am i saying... she is not mine yet... this all the thinking have made me very confused.... is she the right one.... should i go for it? should i wait? should i stop? wat should i do?? someone help me plis....

all about the prom??

i asked the girl to go with me to my school prom end of the year?i specifically told her that if she does not go i will not go.she said YES.but then last few days she told me to go get a new date.WAT THE HELL does dat mean?and its for another girl(but a classmate).the excuse used is because she does not want her to be alone.if this is true,why cant she follow us.we are all in the same group of frens right.i till now still wondering wat the excuse is.is it influence....people keep ejeking.....i hope not....if it is then it is a very childish and not to say very stupid excuse.but i called and ask she said because she want to.i justcant handle the answer.to me its not a valid answer....there must be something behind it.why must everything be hidden.does it hurt so much just to tell out the reason.i dun think i am those people who will get angry if the answer is a good answer.and who the hell cares wat other people say about us.

on a different note.the girl that i asked to go to the prom is going with another girl form my class. so called frens lar.if ur a real fren u should have said no instead of saying or at least say something to rebel.u know that she has a date and u keep asking her to go with u.at least this is wat i think lar.....since i din know the reason.i just cant get over not knowing the reason.wat did i do wrong this time??

why??

why must it always be like this.......not that spm is coming and everything......why everytime when i tell myself i want to forget her something comes back and tell me that u have hope....when i always know that i will come down in the end.....i have never ever successfully had the one i really liked....maybe its not my destiny to have a girl that i want.....maybe.....everytime i dunno wether i want to go for her anot...something ask me to but when i do it seems that its not true...maybe its me....am i not cute enough...maybe not hot enough....or maybe just too stupid... i dunno.....haih...watever it is its not gonna help me sleep for the whole night AGAIN...